Penitential Decision
Now I’ve arrived at Parit Sulong, in the vicinity of Batu Pahat. My life is partially stable, and I’m truly wanted to survive here peacefully with my lovely family on my own. But I cannot expose who I really am to the villagers. The police will soon know, they are tracking my steps from the first day I fled. The problem is, I can’t get back again with my family here. Is it my sin is too big to be forgiven by my own family? Is everybody lost their sense of forgiving? I’m not the old Fakri that they have known before. I have repented. Again, bad things and nonsense rumours spread within the mouths of villagers in Parit Sulong. Villagers hate me again, due to my selfishness because I’m not attended any of their activities. I have pleaded guilty for all the sins that I have done until I came here, and I will, by any logical reason, live happily and peacefully here. Each time after my prayer, I pray to Allah, to give me peace…and pray that my children will not follow their father footsteps…I’ve gone too far. The villagers are rather sceptic…they tend to not forgiving, but they harassing my children just because of me. BECAUSE OF ME!! What this is all about? What are my children faults to all of you?? Tell me, so I’ll punish them on what they deserve…and punish me, not my children…they’re not guilty at all…Villagers, all of you can hate me, but please don’t hate my children…I know it’s a wrong reason to not mingle with all of you…but I’m doing this for my own safety and this village safety too…I’ve made up my mind. I’m going back to Kangar, the place where I belong. I’m heading there with my Asics Gel, I walk carefully at Larkin, I afraid others will recognise me, not because of my face, but because of my shoes. I leave my family, I don’t want them to suffer my sins. I love Kangar as it is. I want to give my service back to the people of Kangar, so they will know that this is the new FAKRI…so I will stay peacefully in Kangar, the place that I should be, my family, I’m sorry.
